a cry for forgiveness

   Today I choose to forgive [Name]. I forgive him for allowing himself to be led and controlled and used by the enemy to destroy me. I forgive him for ruthlessly pursuing me, for his selfishness, for his pride, for hurting me, for controlling and manipulating me, for all the wounds emotional and physical he knowingly and unknowingly inflicted upon me. I forgive him for enabling my unhealthy coping mechanisms and bad behavior. I forgive him for holding me captive and not letting me go physically and emotionally, for not looking out for my best interests or respecting my wishes.
   Today I choose to forgive and cancel the debt [Name] owes me. He owes me nothing for God has paid [Name]'s debt through Jesus Christ. My redemption and salvation comes from God alone and does not depend on the frailty of man's apology. I may never receive an apology, but whether I do or whether I don't, either way I choose forgiveness. My own debt has been paid and so has [Name]'s. I release him from his debt to me through the power of Christ and thereby release myself from the chains that held me bound in anger, wrath, rage, malice, violence, hatred, and unforgiveness. I will walk in freedom and newness of life. From this point on when I see [Name] I will choose to see the face of Jesus and merciful forgiveness. I give [Name] over to God and relinquish my right to revenge. Justice will come from God. My vindication will come from God; He defends my cause.
   I choose to forgive those who continue to congregate with [Name]. I choose to fellowship with the light, not darkness (depression, oppression, sin, drunkeness, sensationalism, fleeting pleasures, temporary fulfillment, treasure that fades). I have been set free and there is no reason to walk back into a place of bondage and darkness. I will rejoice in my freedom instead of long for the sins of the past; I will choose to celebrate lasting and uplifting friendships of the light instead of grieve for the passing friendships built on worldly pleasures. I have no time to live in self-pity for I have a purpose in Christ.
   God, now pour into me your strength and your power to walk in the newness of life, the path of the righteous, the joy and radiance of the light. I am a new creation; the old has passed and the new has come. I celebrate the victory.  Forgiveness is a process, and I will continue in it until the healing is complete, your work is finished, and I am made whole again.

the start

I created this blog several weeks ago but did not actually post anything since I did not know where to start. I was a little hesitant, nervous. Didn't know what to say or how to say it. So...I'm just going to start. Here. Now. Join me for the ride...

I started this blog mainly so that people that I don't see on a daily basis can keep up with me. (Yes, this means you, Mom.) All jokes aside, I know that I need accountability in a major way this year. I want the changes that have started taking place in me at the beginning of this summer to really stick, take hold, and last, well, for a lifetime. I need a community to cheer me on, give me hindsight advice, and be encouraged themselves by watching the growth and miracles along this journey. I think we all need these things really, but this is a forum for my own personal cheering squad. I'll try my best to be honest, and I hope any readers will be honest with their feedback too.

I thought at the start I would list some things that may or may not be found in this blog from time to time. Take this as a disclaimer and read at your own risk. ;)


Things You May or May Not Find in the Following Blog:
1. Religious content. God is guiding this path I am on and I'm going to try my best-- no, I WILL gain victory through following Him. He is the Redeemer and author of this new story, and I'm excited to see how it turns out. Some will think I'm cooky...but oh well. I'll deal.

2. Recipes. I love cooking and baking, so I might share stories of culinary adventures here.

3. Health and fitness chronicles. I've recently lost a little motivation in regards to my daily exercise routine, but I'm jazzed about running races, pushing for better running times, weight lifting, and triathlons. I can feel the fire coming back; the embers are getting hotter.

4. Funny anecdotal life stories. Life happens and sometimes it's funny. I'll share. Like when I fell off the treadmill the other day...

5. Move reviews. They more than likely will not happen.

6. Book reviews. They more than likely will happen...but not frequently and it might be class-related.

7. Netflix reviews. They will definitely happen.

8. Laffy Taffy jokes. Yes, of course!

9. Pictures from African safaris. Will not be here. Did you think I had time to travel? To Africa? Right now? Really? ;)

10. Heavy use of punctuation and emoticons. Sigh. Yes.

11. Evidence that I am procrastinating. Obviously.

12. Random stuff. Absolutely. You can count on it.


If you decide to read, great! If you decide not to read, not a problem. Either way, I'd love to hear your feedback. Thanks!